Choosing the sweet side of life

I wanted a picture of me kissing Hannah but the kids are asleep. I am so ready for a camera with a timer. Or a personal papparazzi to take pictures of me WITH the kids. :)

Less than a year ago I was giving the kids a bath and Hannah was being a little onery. While my hands were full getting Jacob out of the tub she began dumping water onto the floor. After sternly (I am so very sure it was stern, not yelling) telling her to stop twice she continued to dump the water. I set Jacob down and gave her a smack on her little rear. ( I had spanked her before once or twice and it never worked very well, she would laugh, which is really surprising given how very sensitive she is)(Seriously, I remember my first and only spankin', it wasn't very painful but I cried and decided right then and there that I was going to be good for the rest of my life). Well, she immediately drew her hand back and slapped me in the face. It really hurt and I was really mad so I grabbed her out of the tub and put her in her room to give myself a chance to breathe. Now I am not necessarily a no-spanking advocate, but I had planned on never spanking my kids. After I calmed down a little I felt like I was a in a bit of a pickle. I wasn't quite sure how to explain to her that I can hit her but it is SO wrong for her to hit me back. (because I am bigger than you? because I am teaching you right from wrong? )

I think it was this experience that made me work on finding ways for myself and my kids to work together to get to the result I want. Now don't get me wrong. I think there should be different expectations for different ages. I think toddlerhood is one of those times when I need to be more creative in getting their cooperation.

I have found that Jacob has days where he just simply doesn't want to clean up. No amount of moving him to the toys, my directing him to grab a certain toy, or time outs are going to get him to clean up. When I finally decide that I want him to clean up more than I want to win this power struggle (which sometimes takes a minute of me taking a deep breathe and convincing myself that that is really what I want, because it is really really irritating to not be able to control someone who is just over 2 feet tall) then I can initiate a game where one of his stuffed animals or trains is helping clean up. He thinks this is a great idea. He gladly helps. It takes more effort (especially mental) but the toys are cleaned up, he is smiling, and about that time I am smiling too.

Recently Hannah had become more rude and when I would reprimand her for being rude she would get more angry and gently smack at me. Stern talking and time outs just made us both irritated with each other. I decided that I needed to find an approach that was effective. When she was acting ugly towards me I began to gently take her in my arms and say "I think you need some sugar to make you sweeter" and then shower her with kisses until she finally smiled. (For those of you not in the south, sugar can be another word for kiss). This has been incredibly effective! She loves it. Now she often catches herself after a rude moment, looks at me and says "Do I need sugar?" I grab her and kiss her and she playfully pokes me so that I have to keep kissing her until she is "sweet" again.

So I have found that when there is a certain area that is causing tension between us I can usually get the kids to do what I want by making it fun and appealing to them and by giving up the idea that they should do what I tell them to because I told them to. ( Now, the rules will definitely change as they get older. By the time they are eight I will having them jumping when I say jump... just kidding... about the jumping). I get what I want, they are happy, I feel happy (usually after feeling angry first, I am still working on that). Unfortunately the other thing I am learning about toddlers is that something that works like a charm one week is doing absolutely nothing for them two weeks later. Gotta love them. Any other moms out there with cool ideas that work with their little ones feel free to post!

Bubble sideburns

This photo cracks me up. Jacob made himself these crazy bubble sideburns that make me think of the 1800's!

Natalie and Henry's baby shower!

Today was Natalie's baby shower and it was so sweet! I can not wait until Henry is here!! I am going to be an AUNT!!

Easter!

The kids at their primary activity, eating easter basket cupcakes

Jacob and me at the Marshes for brunch and an easter egg hunt. Jacob wasn't real into it since things were still a little dew-y.

Hannah showing off some of her loot.



These last two pictures were actually taken a couple of days before Easter but I can't help myself. I think we opened our Christmas presents like 4 days before Christmas last year.

The kids checking out their baskets!

Krispy Kreme

Heather and I took our kids to Krispy Kreme as a special treat. Not only do they have donuts but there is a mechanical assembly line where you can watch hundreds of donuts being made. Here is Hannah and Jacob with Ashlyn at the kid table.

Hannah LOVES Jade and loves to make her laugh. I realized that you couldn't see what Jade looked like so I added the first picture but couldn't move it where I wanted it. A fun evening!

Enjoy

Just a couple fun pictures. I just could not avoid the sun in that room.

Their beverage preferences

To keep things simple and inexpensive, we pretty much only keep water, skim milk, and soy milk at our house. So when we go to Nana and baba's the kids get to enjoy some of their favorite drinks. Jacob's is rootbeer. (I love it too buddy).

Hannah enjoys Perrier.


Oh so classy!

A few things that makes Nana so great...

Buying peeps at Easter time

Riding robot animals in the middle of the mall

Taking apart her birthday bouquet so Hannah can have a flower for her hair!

Chillin' at taco bell

Here is Jacob with Baba at Taco Bell

Here is Hannah.

It is only 8:30 but I feel pooped from being out in the sun and from allergies. I have a lot of things I should be doing but instead I think I will work on blogs from our weekend at the beach.

Happy Birthday Carol!!!

This is a rather late post to wish you a happy birthday Carol, but I hope your birthday was great! We can't wait to see you tomorrow! Writing of rather late, I am not the only one up past my bedtime. Jacob is still up. About two hours after we had put the kids to bed I heard some noises. Jeff went to investigate and came back down with a wide awake Jake.

He is still pretty wired but I am really tired so this should be fun. He is starting to put sentences together which can be pretty funny. He is saying that he is not sleeping. No kidding. Good night all. Oh, Hannah learned a new "funny" face as shown in the first picture. I don't know how she came up with it.

Happy Birthday Caryn!!

First order of business is to wish Caryn the most happy birthday ever! I am so glad that we will be seeing you and Martin in just a couple of months! I hope you had a really terrific day. Here are the kids painting. Hannah really wanted to paint and I really wanted to not let her paint. I finally conceded thinking that I could get some things done because it keeps them busy for quite a while and Hannah can pour more paint, get new paper, etc for her and Jacob so I hoped that they would be a little self-sufficient for some time.

No such luck. About five minutes later they were good to go. So that amounted to about 5 minutes of me setting up, 5 minutes of them painting (probably 2 of which I was helping with something) and then 5 minute clean-up. I think there is something in business called the point of dimishing return. We were at the bottom of that graph. Man, they could at least have smiled.